User Profile

It’s weird. I’ve been on conventional online dating sites and had some really great relationships, but the common factor to all of them is that the women tend to be very submissive. I don’t advertise for it, and I’m not on any BDSM dating sites, but for some reason it just happens.

Nor would I consider myself a “Dom” in any conventional sense. I’m just a guy who knows what he wants and is really good at giving instructions to willing participants. The amusing thing about all of this is that it also means I have a very well (conventionally) trained dog. The thing is I need YOU to help me train him in the art of petlove.

He’s a really great unaltered standard poodle cross. He weighs about 65 pounds so I’d put him in the large (but not extra large) category. He’s a great humper, follows orders, is eager to please, and is not aggressive. He’ll make an excellent lover for you.

Though I will CONSIDER a casual encounter, ideally I am looking for a girlfriend long term. So to that end I’m going to end this ad with my online dating profile:

Reasons to date me:
I'm cuddly
I give great back rubs
I only *look* innocent
I am usually able to find Waldo
I have not yet capsized a canoe
I am faster than an unfired bullet
I'm not easy, but we can discuss it
I'll respect you in the morning, really
Rarely do I eat paste between meals
My blender has never had a frog in it
Rarely do I take candy from strangers
I hardly ever slurp when drinking soup
I have never found rude shapes in clouds
I can leap tall housecats in a single bound
I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects
I don't turn into a werewolf during a full moon,
I'm getting fewer and fewer "ice-cream.headaches"
I have never gambled away a girlfriend in Las Vegas
I make a concentrated effort not to spit when I talk
I rarely stand on a swivel chair to reach a high shelf
I never ring doorbells & run away before they answer
My dog loves me & he's an excellent judge of character
I have never hit a silver-medallist in the knee with a club
I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
I'll try anything 4 or 5 times (It may be an acquired taste
I have not been proven to cause holes in the ozone Layer
I'm an excellent accomplice at sneaking snacks into movies
There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately
I have never broken into a bear's home & eaten all his porridge
When choosing between two evils, I pick the one I've never done
It is increasingly rare that I place fake artifacts at archeological digs

If you are still reading, I already know we share a sense of humour, so send me an e-mail so we can get to know each other better.

Bob

Ideally I’m looking for someone local and long term BUT I recognize that to find someone whom I not only click with on a relationship level but who also happens to be a petlover is very slim. Moreover this is a part of my life that, like many of you, I have shared with very few people. Therefore I am open to chatting with females from anywhere, and would also welcome a casual encounter or possibly the company of an experienced couple (M/F or F/F). Online only friends are always welcome too...

Friends (19):

Mutual Friends (9):

Also Friend of (13):